When becoming a new mother everyone talks about how to breast feed, bottle feed, swaddle a baby, change a baby and the list goes on! While this is all great to know, no one prepares a mother for what will happen to them, how to care for themselves. How can you care for another human and not know how to take care of what is happening to YOU! Because lets be honest you can not truly be the best mother if you are not tending to your needs. After a vaginal or cesasan delivery your body will go though some embarrassing but NORMAL changes. So lets talk about the Bad and the Ugly! Not to scare you, but to prepare you!
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Postpartum helpful tips
- Boobs/Nipple- After labor if you are breastfeeding you will do skin on skin and try to latch the baby. Your nurses and lactation consultant will help guide you with getting the best latch. Your boobs will get engorged when your milk comes in normally around days 3-5. This is painful, your boobs will be ROCK HARD! Nurse that baby as much as you can to help relieve the pressure! When the baby is Cluster Feeding ( nursing often to bring up supply) your Nipples will become very Tender!! And let me tell you who ever tells you breastfeeding doesn’t hurt is a liar! I remember crying in the shower wondering how I am going to do this. The medela gel pads were my all time favorite! The cooling feeling against my burning nipples helped get me though the first week. Coconut oil was also something I would slather on by the cup full it seemed. Coconut oil helped my dry cracked nipples heal and keep them from drying to my bra. Now my daughter is almost 3 and we are still going strong so hang in there mama!! This is the coconut oil I use.
- Stitches My first daughters arm was stuck over her head resulting in second and third degree tearing. Every time I had a bowl movement it would catch the third degree tear and make it bleed. Stool softeners where my best friend! My favorites i used for healing were Tucks pads and Hemorrhoid cream! The tucks pads were nice and cool, the hemorrhoid cream helped with pain. My stitches were healed up by 8 weeks. Once healed you can rub coconut oil on the scars to help soften the scar and coconut oil is safe to use on your lady parts!
- Vaginal Bleeding After having my first daughter I seriously did not know that a human body can hold so much blood! There is so much work to just go pee after having a baby… By the time the water warmed to put in my peri bottle then cleaned my self up ( all while hurrying because of a crying baby) it seemed like a hour had gone by. Take home all the pads you can get your hands on from the hospital. Also the mesh undies, talk about a total life saver! Buy some cheap granny panties from amazon but buy them a size up! My bleeding lasted about 3 weeks post partum. I exclusively breast fed so my period didn’t return until my daughter was a year old. I used over night pads so that I got front to back coverage! I didn’t want to have any accidents.
- First Poop The dreaded first poop! I had my self so worked up, that I kept holding it in! After a week and a half I couldn’t any more! It wasn’t as bad as everyone made me think! I wish I would of just got it over with in the hospital! Some mothers I have talked to said they had to go in the hospital but I didn’t. I will recommend talking stool softeners to help ease it out! I took softeners every other day until my stitches were healed. Colace stool softeners where what my doctor had me take while breastfeeding.
- Post partum Depression I got soo lucky both pregnancies and never experienced this like some moms have. I had a few down days but what new mom doesn’t. You are taking home a little human with no training! I remember those friends that said “call if you need anything”, well call them! Ask them to bring you a coffee, make you dinner, even sit with the baby so you can shower or do your hair for the first time. The best thing is to have YOU time! Whatever YOU time looks like to you, make sure you do it! I remember with my first daughter i wouldn’t let my husband do anything. I thought i could do it much better. This will just cause you to resent your partner for not “helping”. Just please please ask for help! Everyone loves baby snuggles and you need a break mama! You are just as important. ** if you have thoughts of hurting your self or others PLEASE seek professional help!!!!***
- Stomach My poor stomach will never look the same! I hate the moms that can walk out of the hospital looking like a queen. looking at you Kate Middleton… i still looked 9 months pregnant but it was jello not hard and my muscles were so sore from the doctors “massaging” my stomach. WORSE MASAGE EVER! Then the stretch marks. Nothing i tired helped i bought $100 of dollars worth of stuff to try and NOTHING had helped until I found mixing Bio Oil with some breastmilk, and coconut oil and rubbing it on my belly. I keep trying to remind myself that i earned every strip along with every gray hair…
- Cesarean Scar I was so afraid when going into labor that I would need to have a C-Section. I only had two vaginal deliveries. My friends all recommend this for care. Walk as much as you can, it will hurt but get up and do it. Also take the pain meds given and Gas x to help! Make yourself a cart on wheels if possible with all your breastfeeding supply, snacks, water, etc. Ask for HELP and don’t over do it! Use a soft pad and put it over your scar to help it from “leaking” on your clothing one wear those big granny panties mentioned above! Use a belly band some hospitals will supply you one if you ask!
- Sex Lets talk about the scariest thing for me! Sex after the baby! I was soooo scared i waited almost 4 months before i would even allow my husband to look at me! First feeling like a cow, then add the worry of getting pregnant again so soon, then the stitches i was ALL SET! Yes the first time was not enjoyable i hyped myself up way to much i couldn’t relax AT ALL and i kept worrying about the baby waking up mid romp. But i survived and you will too. My husband and i had talked about what i needed from him before hand. Communication is most important. I wanted him to know that if it hurt to much we would stop, that if i said more lube it meant more NOW! The scar left from my stitches hurt and still to this day can cause some discomfort. But remember that coconut oil mentioned for your nipples?? Stock up! Buy the big tub because its also the best all natural lube! Just remember you need to make sure you are the one to take control and tell your partner what your feeling good or bad.
- Hemorrhoids Oh boy the pain in the @**. some women get them during pregnancy some get them from pushing during Labor some get lucky and don’t get them. I was lucky both pregnancies and deliveries i walked away with no Hemorrhoids. Unfortunately i can however talk about this nasty little (or big) pain from experience. When my youngest was about 3 months old which i had a hard time going Number Two, which resulted in my first hemorrhoid… Now Hemi ( my husband and i call her this) comes and goes with a vengeance. She is aunt flos evil step sister. The things that save me are my beloved tucks pads and that hemorrhoid cream i luckily had from when i had stitches listed above. Duel uses so worth the money because i can promise at some point in your life you will get the lovely visit from Miss. Hemi herself… ** if you get a really bad hemorrhoid please contact a doctor**
- Hair loss I’m not talking the hair loss we all want like the lose of our stash, I’m talking the beautiful full head of hair you got during pregnancy… well Kiss that goodbye. Your going to look like a troll. My hair loss hit me both times at 3 months post partum. I did continue to take multi vitamins, i washed it less not because i wanted to but because i simply didn’t have the time for myself. I seriously had a worse receding hairline then my husband! A fresh hair cut will help make it look heathier and taking your vitamins. Also make sure your drinking water! Feeding your body the essentials are the best way to help with hair loss. ** If you experience extreme hair loss please contact a doctor.**
- Incontinence– In simpler terms Peeing your self no matter how hard you try! Do your Kegels to help tighten your Vaginal muscles. My doctor told me to try and hold my pee mid stream. Easy peasey… until i tried after going home and i couldn’t. As a new mom you are so busy you don’t even notice you have to pee until its to late.. good thing you will be wearing a “diaper” forever it seems after birth. Not only will it help with the bleeding but it will help with the dribbles. I still sneeze or laugh to hard and will dribble to this day… brings me back to the days my mom would say that and id make fun of her.. I’m now the one making fun of myself…. Kegel balls are great with helping your pelvic floor muscles. There are also a lot of exercises you can do to help tighten up down there to help the pelvic floor.
Now theses are just a few completely normal things that happen after labor. I’m sure every mother you know has experienced the same issues. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Remember you are a worrier who just brought a HUMAN into this world. You will Gladly go though all this over and over to hold that little one.. Some people are crazy enough you do it all over again and have two, three, four kids ETC. I’m one of the crazies’ that just got most everything in order and decided hey my hair is finally growing back time for another!! Children are the most amazing prized thing in the world!! And as always remember to Bee Brave, Bee Beautiful, Bee Bubbly!
*** If you have serious health concerns with any or all items listed above please seek out help from a professional. You are not alone and your health and well being is most important. I can not express this enough!***
